Where Do We Go From Here?

Great Question! For those of you that we have not been blessed to talk with in detail about this experience, I hope to somehow capture some of our thoughts, prayers, hopes, revelations, a little of what God has done thus far through this time.

Knowing Nastya has already changed us all a great deal in our thinking and in our perspective about life. We have absolutely loved having her here. It has not all been easy, but it has certainly been full of love and joy. If she is blessed by us even one iota as much as she has blessed us, then I know her heart is full. It has been so amazing to see this timid, pale, exhausted child blossom into such a loving, outgoing, radiant, happy little girl. Our days have been filled with running and playing outdoors, loving on the pets, riding bikes (did I mention she did this for the first time and learned in about 24 hours?!), riding horses, and just more normal stuff - cooking, cleaning, watching movies, playing games, and just being together. We have all fallen in love with this child and are already grieving that she has to return in a short time. We are praying and asking God to faithfully reveal His perfect plan for our family. We know that His plan is absolutely perfect and He promises to reveal it to us. It is such a strange place to be in. Before Nastya walked off the plane, orphans were just people that others worried about, just stories I've read about in countless books and blogs, just the lives children lived before they were adopted by friends we know, just statistics that were hard to comprehend. So many, such sadness. But now there is one. One who is in our home. One whom we have grown to love and care for deeply. What does that mean?


We know that God brought this child here for this time. We also know that in the past when we have been faced with huge decisions, we have diligently sought the Lord to give us direction. Every time He has been incredibly faithful to lead us in the paths He has for our family. Would He forsake us now? No. I can rest in that assurance. I know He says to me, "Call to Me and I will answer you and show you great and mighty things that you do not know" Jeremiah 33:3. And He says that He is our Protector, our Saviour, our Shepherd, our Strength, and that His grace is sufficient for us. I rest in this truth. I know that God has protected us from some stupid, bull-headed decisions in the past - such grace! He has saved me when I did not deserve it - He called me to Himself. I was the one who was lost in my own sinfulness and did not even know I needed to be saved, and He dramatically got my attention and caused me to know His lovingkindness and His grace and to know Him personally. To call Him Father. To call Him Lord. To call Him Saviour. You ask - why is all this relevant now? Well it is relevant because the Lord did not walk away from my mess and He did not think I was too risky or too imperfect or too messed up to bother with saving. No - He loved me when I was disobedient and didn't really care what He thought. And it is relevant because I want (only by the grace of God), to do whatever His will is. I wholeheartedly believe that we would all choose His plan for our lives if we could see the whole picture from His perspective. I believe that He loves me perfectly, that He is wholly good, that He is omniscient, and that He is able to all things. So I know I can trust Him to not only have a perfect plan but to reveal that plan. And I know that I can trust Him to give me the grace and the strength to do whatever He calls me to do. Last, I know that He does call me to lay down my life just as Jesus modeled. I struggle with that and this has caused me to see my own selfisness. Selfishness, you say, but you are hosting an orphan...how could you be selfish?! Oh but I am! I have seen my own selfishness more clearly this week than I have in a long time! I am and when I think about our future and the changes adopting this child may bring, I think about selfish things. I think about ease of life, vacations (with and without my children), not having the financial burden of another child, etc, etc, etc. Oh and how I don't want to see that selfishness, but it is there and I just pray and ask God to give me the grace (undeserved) to have His love and His joy. I believe there is joy in sacrifice and servitude. I have been blessed to experience that joy this week. And please don't think I'm saying that vactions and different pleasures in life are bad - they are great and I hope to have a lot of them!! But I don't want to love them so much that they drive my life. But again, God is faithful and gives the grace to love when it is easy and when it is hard, because He gives us His love.

So all that to say, it is summed up much better in God's own words, and this has become a regular prayer of mine this week.

Colossians 1:9-11 "For this reason we also, since the day we heard it, do not cease to pray for you, and to ask that you may be filled with the knowledge of His will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding; that you may walk worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing Him, being fruitful in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God; strengthened with all might, according to His glorious power, for all patience and longsuffering with joy"

Really read this verse above - it is such awesome, peaceful truth. We ask you to pray with us that this would be true in our lives! In all this, I have said I believe all that I have said above before now, but wow - this time with Nastya and considering adopting her along with all the fears, concerns, unknowns, sacrifices and possible obstacles involved in that decision - we really have to decide to trust God, to trust this truth, to rest in His love and power. It is a unique time and we look forward to seeing His plan revealed one step at a time.